this morning, i got up, i showered, dressed, got my keys, forgot my watch, and went to work.

i took the R. it's back. and like every morning since 2000, i got on the R.

and took it to manhattan. on september 10, i would have done what i did every day when we got to rector street - think to myself, "do i want to deal with the WTC this morning to save myself walking and give myself 10 minutes?"

and i would imagine, every day, the massive numbers of people walking down the stairs from the uptown N/R into the mall and off to their jobs.

and wonder if it was worth it.

about 75% of the time, i would say yes.

today, i got to rector and thought "do i really want to deal with the WTC this morning?"

as the train slowly passed the closed cortlandt street stop, i looked around at my empty car, wondering where were all the people who i used to ride with, wondering what happened to that fat black woman with the swollen ankles who i always wanted to push down the stairs, to the dorky guy who i commuted all the way to houston with...

and the answer was. YES. i really want to walk through the WTC again. just once. just one more day, i want to be able to deal with it.

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