by friday, i can barely keep my head up. and i have to go to therapy today.

and i've been thinking. i don't think i need therapy as much as i thought i did. i mean, i went in because i have self-esteem issues. i do.

and we wandered around the topic for 3 or 4 sessions when the WTC attacks happened. and then we discussed that til i went to ireland.

when i came back, i really felt like anything i was discussing pre-9/11 was stupid. and that lots of my self-esteem stuff was taken care of.

denial? maybe.

but i have to leave work in the middle of the day to go to therapy. and now we're talking about self-identification. and how i never feel like i fit in anywhere. and how concerned d* is that i will lose myself to a kid and suddenly glom onto the identity of "percival's mom".

that is all well and good. and it's something to think about and do forth. but i am kind of tired of therapy right now.

d* wants me to stay through the first trimester in case something happens. but i don't know. it just all seems silly right now.

plus, i don't want to talk about elementary school. that just seems stupid.

and have i mentioned i am exhausted? i can barely sit up right now. and i am suppposed to go make sense? sheeesh.

someone tell me i don't have to go.

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