i heard about the pregnancy police but, much like leprechauns, did not know they really existed until i was pregnant.

there are two apparent forms.

first, there are the strangers on the train who will tell you not to drink too much soda. i was wearing a maternity shirt this weekend because it's just so much more comfy...and someone gave me their seat and then leaned over and said "by the way, you shouldn't drink soda - water is better for the baby."

i was drinking ginger ale. and um. my body. my baby. it's not like i was drinking a handle of gin.

then there's family and friends who have started telling me what i can and cannot do. "you should name the baby after grandma" "i hope you're talking to a rabbi." "you better not do x, y or z." "what do you mean you don't want this?"

and you know. i want a midwife. i want a birthing room in a hospital. i will want some people there and others not. i will not be like my cousin who had our aunt in there but didn't want her in there and didn't know how to tell her no (here's how i would have done it "JILL! GET THE FUCK OUT! DON'T MAKE ME ASK YOU AGAIN.")

i like the name margaret. i don't need a peg perego stroller cause that is for suburbs. i do not need one of those strollers that has a car seat instead of a whole unit. that is pointless for me.

i just find it so interesting that everyone seems so interested in telling me what to do.

some of it is fine. suggesting a "white album" nursery, suggesting names that work with my rules, suggesting the mclaren stroller that actually works for city mamas...okay.

telling me i should eat more/less/better? none of yer bizness.

telling me you think i should reconsider the midwives? disrespects my decision-making process. it makes me feel like they don't think i can make decisions capably.

i make every fucking decision in my life like it is life or death. if i say i have an opinion about something, you can be damned sure i have contemplated it.

for example, i have no formal opinion on circumcision yet. i will not make any definitive statements about it until david and i have researched, debated, etc. so let's say i decide NOT to do it if the issue comes up. and it comes up in conversation.

an inappropriate response would be "oh my god, what the hell is wrong with you, don't you know that he will look different from most of the other boys?"

because. see. i will have already covered that. i will have already considered that idea and virtually all other sides of the arguments. and come to my conclusion.

if people are my family or friends, they usually know that about me. i don't just randomly say shit. i don't live like that. and they should know that!

the end.

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