My uncle is one of those freaky guys you see in the movies. The ones that make women think they want a romantic man as a boyfriend but then they get one and he’s always touching them and cooing at them. I think unless you’re even more of an attention whore than I am, you’ll find this repulsive from either gender.

Uncle J* sent me a link to his web site which is filled with pictures of his artwork which is really overpriced sculptures that are very very southern California in the worst possible way. This guy makes me nuts. He’s a touchy-feely beachcomber who sells his artwork for thousands of dollars so he can go lay on someone else’s beach. That, and when I told him I had no intention of ever living in Southern California, his response was “What’s wrong? Don’t like sunshine?” and then proceeded to attack New York and the entire Northeast despite the fact that he has never lived outside the state of California.

So underneath it all, he’s not really that nice at all. And you know, he met my aunt when he was still married. So there’s that.

Anyway, he calls his wife “My Lady” and “Princess”. He sings that Kenny Rodgers song to her every year on their anniversary. You know the one. “Lady, I’m your knight in shining armor and I love you…” He had a mural painted of their wedding spot on a wall of their guest room and made the whole room look like the beach. And he is constantly gazing into her eyes.

Now, I suppose this is all nice. But frankly, I find it all a bit sickening.

Nonetheless, today I was thinking about how funny my dad is. Because my mom is always like “Ohhhhhhh….J* is so sweet. Did you hear what he did? He covered their bed in rose petals!!!!”

And my dad will say “I will do that for my second wife too. I just have to cheat on you first.”

Or he will call from the kitchen “Oh my sweet princess! Princess!!!!! LOVEY LOVEY!!!” and then laughs hysterically.

I think this is great. Because I, too, think J* is a jerk. :)

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