So I need someone from the south to tell me how it is that pregnant women can survive there AT ALL. There are two major factors that I think would make it very difficult.

1. Heartburn and indigestion…often caused by fried foods. Which is often what one craves. Now, if I lived in a location with VERY GOOD fried foods (say, Cape Cod and seafood or Tennessee and the fabled chuckwagon), I would eat it 24-7. So how do these women do it? Wandering around with all that yummy fried stuff and then just to get PUNISHED when you get home.

2. This is the more important concern for my pregnant sisters in the south. HOW CAN YOU BE PREGNANT AND LISTEN TO COUNTRY MUSIC?

I mean, seriously. I was listening to some radio station on the way from Rhode Island this weekend and had to pull over to have an emotional crying jag with regards to Mr. Clay Walker and some song about Circle of Love or something and some guy named Joe and a woman in a car and some pregnant waitress and a hundred dollars.

And I just lost it. Then some other song came on about some dad dying. And I cried again.

I cannot imagine this being my main form of musical entertainment. See me sitting in my office like in Tucson, listening to the local country music station and crying my head off at some sentimental tale of love in the holler.

Someone explain to me how these women do it. Do they just cry all the time or do they restrict themselves to the happy country music? How do they avoid breakdowns? How do they drive past the fried chicken? I don't get it.

< previous | next >