everyone loves my new design. you have to send your fan mail to twiggle though. since i had nothing to do with it except saying "YEAH I WOULD LOVE A NEW DESIGN".

so yeah. life is life right now. we're painting the nursery. which i find hysterical. that i am someone who now paints nurseries and has some color cooridinated effort at matching a cutesy room for a baby.

i mean. COUNTING SHEEP. i think this is bizarre.

who the hell is this woman who now cries at commercials, orders cutesy sheep quilts, and coos at booties and onesies? who the hell cares what a onesie is? it's just strange.

at the same time. my two favorite gifts i got were the i NY onesie and a 718 onesie. so i guess a good part of me is still here.

it's just strange to feel so emotional. i am a pretty even person - especially at work. and pride myself on not being like "everyone else" which really just translates into "what they expect me to be". and yet. just like every other pregnant woman in the US, here i am. counting the weeks. washing onesies. talking to my belly. wanting to rest up. wanting to have ice cream. feeling all these intense feelings of joy and anxiety and concern and happiness.

it's all a bit much.

i just want to sit in the sun and have a beer like a normal person.

get this over with. get back to buttoning pants and having pockets and a beer and a cigarette. get back to not constantly thinking about my fucking body which is no longer joyful but a big pain in the ass. i want to go to the beach and not worry that the sun will forever damage my temporarily super-fucking sensitive skin. i mean. i can't have sushi. can't have beer. can't lay in the sun. can't walk more than 10 blocks without nearly passing out.

i've been pregnant forever and i am tired of it. bored. want beer.

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