i have never been a good sleeper yet have always required 8 hours in order to function nicely. it's one of the most unfortunate blends of temperament i have. it would be no problem if i could get by on 5 hours or if i slept like a rock. but i wake for everything and have trouble falling back asleep.

you can imagine what it is like with an infant in the house.

we co-sleep. i never intended to do the family bed thing because i never wanted to have to get her to sleep on her own. i thought "best she get used to that crib when she is born."

but then i actually brought her home. and had her in a bassinet at the foot of the bed. that worked well for a while. then we went to cape cod and there was no footboard so we tried the crib but i hated having to fetch her.

so she sleeps between us.

and i'm nursing so i wake and just feed her and then usually try and go back to sleep. sometimes it works. other times, like last night, i am awake from 3-5AM. at first it was just that i was hot and too awake to sleep so i watched nick at nite. then, i looked at her and i just had a hard time sleeping when this beautiful, perfect, sweet baby was sleeping there in her duckie pajamas with her little lips making nursing movements in her sleep. so i stayed up and stared at her for an hour or so. i wrote in her baby book and adored her.

then, just as i was falling asleep, she woke up.

she woke up laughing and smiling and talking and just perfectly happy. you're "supposed to" just nurse them and get them to go back to sleep when they wake like that. but she was so damned cute. d* woke up too because she was shouting these gleeful noises and she woke him up.

so he took her to the living room for some TiVo watching. and i finally fell asleep.

a half hour later, she was hungry.

i've been up since 8:30 now. i think i got 6 hours total but broken up into half hour increments.

as soon as we stop nursing she will go into the crib. that's where she sleeps all day anyway.

< previous | next >