| 12-10-02 -
5:30
From the New York Times: ...the mayor said repeatedly that the city would not cease to function. "New Yorkers may need to once again call upon their resilience, toughness and ingenuity," he said. Sharing rides with strangers is part of that, he said, scoffing at suggestions that this could be dangerous. "We have the safest large city in the world," he said. "New Yorkers are going to band together." Then, to laughter, he added, "You will be going in a car at a very slow speed with cars on either side of you, in front of you and behind you. I would suggest that that's not a significant risk." For his part, Mr. Bloomberg said yesterday that he was planning to buy a bicycle and would pedal his way from his town house on East 79th Street to City Hall. I don’t even know where to start analyzing the strike business. As usual, I’ve come up with some alternate plans for the transit. Let’s compare. Mike’s Contingency Plan for if the strike goes through: * Carless Ferries * Taxis take multiple fares * Car services can be hailed * 4-person minimum headed into the city via automobile * Carsharing encouraged by meeting points at the tunnels/bridges My favorite is the last two. So here’s what happens. Cubiclegirl, who lived at Coney Island, needs to get to, say…MIDTOWN. Typically, she takes the train. So. Having no car, she gets herself to the nearest access point to Manhattan. Let’s say. The Manhattan Bridge. How she gets there, I am not entirely clear. I am envisioning her on roller skates with a cape and a rocket pack. So she’s at the Bridge. Where she will stand on line and wait for a car with less than 4 people. I’m not quite sure how this will work. Will she stand with a sign saying “MIDTOWN OR BUST”? Now she gets to share a car with some strangers. Which is FINE because she’ll be going slow and everyone knows that slow moving vehicles prevent being stabbed with a disease-ridden syringe. Mike’s bought himself a bike for this plan. And he’s going to ride to work. In the black slushy snow. Because he’s that kind of guy. Just a regular guy like the rest of us. So this will all be FINE. Because we have his contingency plan in place. Here’s my contingency plan: * Roller coaster rapid transit to be built ASAP – see at bottom of page. NOTE: If this system was already in place, we wouldn’t be in this mess.* * Famous Yankee Stadium Bat Day to be implemented city-wide. Bats to be used on striking MTA workers at will by anyone effected by the mass chaos and further economic turmoil set in motion by striking. * Mayor Bloomberg to fund pay increase for workers and/or cab fare out of his own BIG ASS POCKETS. * Course, in reading this I noticed that an important part of the plan was to have it arrive at the top of the WTC and boy howdy. I guess it wouldn’t come in handy right now so it’s just as well that they never built it.
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